So, as some of you may know, and some of you may not, I love the monthly literary magazine The Believer, which is put out by McSweeneys. In The Believer, the ever brilliant
Nick Hornby writes a column entitled Stuff I've Been Reading. He basically talks about books he's bought vs. books he's read - he's a brilliant writer. He's also written How To Be Good, High Fidelity, About a Boy, and High Fidelity - so you might've heard of him from those novels.

Anyway. I read a lot. And I have decided to write about... the books I've been reading! It won't be as entertaining as Nick Hornby, but you know, you have to pay to read his stuff. ;)

1. The Great Snape Debate. Blech, blech, and more blech. DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. It is TERRIBLE. BLECH. The authors use the stupidest reasons - for both sides! I was arguing with the book, but not in the way that it was making me think, in the way were I was just getting really annoyed. Really really annoyed, because none of these very respectable authors delivered - rather, they provide stupid, easily refutable reasons for both sides, leaving me annoyed and cranky that I'd been cheated out of $14.

2. Water for Elephants. Brilliant. I love this book. It's basically a flashback of a ninety (or ninety-three year old man) who lives in an "assisted living" facility. In his youth, he was a vet for a circus. It's the story of him remembering what happened at this circus and what he learned there, and at the same time, it's him learning that he is getting older - that his mind is not what it used to be, that he cannot do what he used to do, and yet, at the same time, and that is just what happens with age. At the same time, though, it's just a really, really good yarn. It's a fascinating read - people very infrequently write about circuses in this manner, where the book isn't really about the circus itself, but about what the circus leads to.

3. A Hearbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I LOVE this book. It's written by the ever brilliant Dave Eggers, who is the editor of The Believer and McSweeneys. Dave Eggers is immeasurably talented. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is an memoir of Eggers - he tells the story of him losing both his parents in a remarkably short period of time and then basically raising his younger brother. Surprisingly, perhaps, it is not the grim story it seems, mostly thanks to Eggers' prose. I can't even explain the way he writes, but it just wraps you up into the story so that you just go with it, and you are so involved in the emotional life of the story that you hardly even notice what your emotions are - which doesn't make a lot of sense, now that I read back over what I just wrote, but that's the best way I can articulate it. He's such a funny writer that even the grimmest of situations has humor in it in this book. As its title suggests, it is indeed heartbreaking, but it is also, as its title suggests, really funny.

4. What is the What, by Dave Eggers. I know, I know. Another Eggers novel. Look, the guy is genius - I can't help it, okay? ;) What is the What is the story of Valentino Achak Deng, a Lost Boy. It's written in the first person and is basically Valentino's autobiography, written in Valentino's voice, by Dave Eggers. I was a little wary at first, because Eggers voice is what made A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius much of what it is, and I thought without that voice, it might not be very good. I was really wrong. What is the What is absolutely amazing. It's got to be next to impossible to tell the story of a Lost Boy without sounding overly melancholy and losing the audience, or getting bogged down in the maudlin aspects of the story, but somehow, Eggers escapes that. The story is told from Valentino's perspective, so that while you realize the atrocities that happened, and how terrible everything was - and is - you don't turn off emotionally, but just continue along the journey with Valentino.

5. Assassination Vacation, by Sarah Vowell. In this book, Vowell tells the story of the three US presidents that have been assassinated. Sounds stupid and slightly boring, right? It's not - promise. Vowell is really, really witty and this book was very entertaining. I actually don't have much more to say about it, though. Really entertaining. Read it, if you like... to be entertained? Okay, I'm going to stop talking about this book before I make myself look stupider. ;)

Before I end, really quickly - if you haven't, read The Road by Cormac McCarthy and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon. They're good. Promise.

This is stolen from moriah17, who stole it from g_smarmy, who stole it from keladry_lupin. (I feel a bit like GoF movie Hermione now, "Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that...")

I'm ganking this clever little meme from keladry_lupin. Every day for a week, I will ask my f-list two questions - and of course answer them myself too... so we can all learn some more interesting or random things about each other! Fun! If anyone else is interested, please feel free to copy this to your LJs as well.

I know Friday is a bit random starting day, but I don't care. Here are today's questions (borrowed from Kel's yesterday's post because I think they're great questions):

1. What is something you want to accomplish before you die?

2. What is your biggest fear?

My answers:
1. Oh, I thought I'd change the world. ;) Well - in all honesty, I'd like to be a justice on the US Supreme Court one day. No joke; I'm a dork! I find that kind of thing really fascinating, though. When I told my dad that, he suggested I go be an actress instead, as after all, "there are more than nine actresses in the world." I'm not sure if that is in the realm of possibility, and I may change my mind and decide that I don't want that, but right now... I think I'd like to do that one day.

2. Sigh. I think my biggest fear is that my whole life will go by and... I won't have done anything. I mean, obviously, I'll have done *something*, but I don't want my life to go by and me have effected any change.

I have to tell a funny story, unrelated to that meme. So, a little while ago, a couple of friends and I went to California Pizza Kitchen (yep, they have those in St. Louis ;)). In front of us, there was this couple sitting there, eating dinner. This woman walks up to them and starts talking about ninety miles a minute, "HELLO! How ARE you two? ... I've heard suchandsuch about soandso," etc. The couple sat there without saying anything, seeming totally confused. She ended with a cheerful, "See you soon!" and then hurrying off just as quickly as she came. At the point, the man turned to the woman he was there with and said, "Who is she?" to which the wife replied, "You know, she looks a little familiar, but I can't figure out who she is!"

Well. I've quit Leaky.

Here's what I have to say. First and foremost: Leaving is not not not not harder than staying. Is NOT. Certainly, it is very brave for someone to step out of his or her security net that is TLC and quit. However, is it not equally brave for someone to decide to make his or her choice independent of his or her friends' decisions, beliefs, or morals? Not making a decision is easy. Making a decision, regardless of which side you choose, is difficult.

I've read Ian's blog; I've read Torill's blog; I've read Kim's Story, and I've come to the conclusion that I cannot work on the same site with the people who are capable of all this.

I've emailed Melissa; I've posted in the Back Room; I've made suggestions in the suggestion box. It's not that it's come to nothing, it's more that I just can't explain to sstaff that what needs to be changed isn't something I can type into a suggestion box. It's that what has happened - the lies, the politics, the bs - is not okay. Absolutely IS NOT. And I've tried to communicate that. I don't know if my cries have fallen on deaf ears or what, but I've had enough.

There are several reasons I've waited till now to quit. I've been trying to change things. It hasn't worked. I've thought about this long and hard, because I didn't want to give up, as it were. I still am not sure that I have the belief that TLC will never change. I do believe that I have done everything I could have done to try and effect change, and this is my last ditch attempt.

I will miss the club at TLC. I will miss seeing who is invisible (I know that's stupid, I just can't help it); I'll miss feeling important. It's stupid to miss feeling important, but it's just the way I feel.

Something else I want to emphasize before leave this entry. No matter whether you work at TLC or not, I will *not* judge your decision to leave or stay. Each and every one of you is valued very highly by me, and I do not need to understand your reasons for staying or leaving, just the fact that you made the decision is enough to assure me that it will make you the happiest, and that is the important thing. I am not going anywhere. I mean that.

I am proud of what I have done throughout this insanity. I have asked questions, I have made accusations, I have gotten unsatisfactory answers, and so I have resigned. That is *my* truth.

I know that the things I learn in school are not lies (for the most part, anyway ;)). It still gives me a weird feeling of validation whenever I hear things I've learned in school being used in the real world. It's one thing to learn about rhetorical fallacies, it's another to hear someone on NPR reference slippery slope. It's one thing to learn what a time zone is, it's another to go on a vacation and discover that you really have moved back in time. It's one thing to learn how to take a derivative, it's another to...to... nope, can't think of an example that a derivative would be used in real life ;), but you get the idea.

Because of this, the other day I was driving home, flipping through radio stations, slightly annoyed that nothing good was on, I heard Tom Ashbrook on NPR's On Point mention cognitive dissonance (which had been studying in psych) and the effects of passive voice (which we'd been talking about in Lang). So... I listened.

Ashbrook had on this woman who has recently co-published a book called Mistakes Were Made - but not by me. It's basically about cognitive dissonance and how it has come into effect in the Bush Administration. To illustrate cognitive dissonance, this woman had Ashbrook name two types of cars that he felt were equal. He picked Chevy and Toyota. Then, she told him to pick one of them to buy. He picked Chevy. She asked him how he felt about the Chevy now, and he confusedly said that he supposed he liked the gas mileage. She asked him how he felt about the Toyota, and he said something unfavorable (can't remember). Isn't it interesting, she pointed out, that even though five seconds ago they were equal in his eyes, now that he made a decision, he picks facts about the two brands to make him look good.

I found it very interesting! Humans are hardwired to make themselves feel better about themselves. The author (I wish I could remember her name) but a very nice pin on it by saying that in order to make themselves feel more ethical, competent, and good, they often do things that are unethical, stupid, and bad. Funny, huh?

So, I'm going to try and see if I can spot this and correct it a bit. I figure if I can spot it, I ought to be able to tone down its effects a little bit.

Quick disclaimer: If you're not a TLC person, you won't understand the following post. You're welcome to read it, but you won't get it...

I joke that I talk a lot because I like to hear the sound of my own voice. While that may be partly true (though right now, my voice just sounds congested and kind of gross), I've discovered something about myself in the past few days that I didn't really know before, and that's that I really believe in speaking up.

I have heard so many rumors - many true rumors, I believe - fly in the past few days, and for quite a while, no one was saying anything to the people being accused. While I personally have not had anyone do anything to me personally, it sounded like a few people in power have really abused friends of mine. Understandably, I think, I wanted to know what these people had to say for themselves, but I didn't know if was appropriate to ask. Now, though, people are talking. Granted, not all of the people who have been asked to speak up and say what is going on have done so, and those who have, have done it in a pathetic attempt to mollify people with out actually doing anything, which is not something I, and many others, I believe, will put up with anymore. (By the way, last time I checked, calling something "personally" disappointing is generally considered unprofessional.) That is upsetting.

I can, however, rest assured that I have done everything in my power to rectify the situation; that I have spoken to everyone that I blame for something. I don't like sitting back and wondering why someone did something, or wondering if someone did something. While asking them does not create a pleasant conversation, it allows me to sleep easier at night, knowing that I am asking, I am questioning, and I am doing the right thing.

You Are 49% Addicted to the Internet

You're somewhat addicted to the internet - but who isn't? You can keep it under check, and you're by no means a hermit.

Well, look at that. I can be cured! Not that I'd want to be, but anyway...

Stolen from Erna/theyellowpepper

So I've not updated in forever, I know, I know. I'm going to start updating more, promise. :) I was inspired by an experience I had in Borders the other day while minding my own business buying Fame Junkies - excellent read, by the way. Now, I *think* because I'm TLC staff, this can't count for the blog contest, but it's entertaining anyway...

I was standing at the counter, and handed the smiley cashier lady my book. Business as usual. Then, as she was ringing it up, she asked cheerfully, "Are you a Harry Potter fan?"

I was gobsmacked for a second or so - did I have a sign on my forehead saying I was a staffer on a huge Harry Potter fansite? Did I have my TLC shirt on? No and no. Thinking back on it, though, it makes sense - with 300 million copies of the books in print, it's pretty likely I'd read one.

When I answered in the affirmative, she leaned forward conspiratorially and asked, "Did you hear that the last book is coming out on 7/7/7?"

I took a deep breath. Relax, I told myself. Count to five. I inquired, "Where, exactly, did you hear that?"

She winked at me. "Oh, come on, honey - everybody knows it! It's a seven book series with a whole lot of sevens in it - there are three sevens on that date and it's a Saturday! How could she resist?"

I then proceeded to make an absolute fool out of myself by briskly informing her that, "Well, I can tell you as an avid and attentive fan - I am a staffer at the Webby Award Winning Harry Potter fansite The Leaky Cauldron - Bloomsbury has just said that they do not have Deathly Hallows. Once they receive a novel, it has never taken less than six months to prepare it for publication, so unless JK Rowling sends Bloomsbury her novel tomorrow, it is highly unlikely that there will be a July release date, and furthermore there has never been any discussion and/or confirmation of any speculated release date from any official source." Exhale.

Utterly bewildered, she smiled at me shakily, handed me my bag, and, with the air of ushering a batty cat lady from her store, said, "Good-bye, miss - um - have a nice day!"

Well, here we go. This is my first entry ever in this thing - and I'm not entirely sure why I am bothering to create this, but whatever. It is entirely possible that this will remain unupdated for long periods of time. It is also entirely possible that I will post multiple times a day, should the mood strike me. Not in the mood to write a long post, so until next we meet - tootles!

eta: The rest of this journal is friends-only, so if you want to be added, comment and I'll add you! :)